every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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