It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
