just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
did i just pee glitter
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
