Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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