I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Randomize
