I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
