My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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