The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
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a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
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His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
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