My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I wish i was in the wii world.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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