Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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