the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Someone shattered a urinal.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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