go do what you do best...puke behind churches
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
