Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
