Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
