She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Randomize
