He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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