talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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