your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
she was so not down for the gang bang
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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