I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
