Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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