We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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