Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
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Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
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She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
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