with your own penis?
3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
