My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
