i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
