Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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