I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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