I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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