yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
