I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
