i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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