carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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