i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
