My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
