i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
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You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
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Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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