no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
