They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize