me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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