So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize