Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
