What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
