just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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