I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Randomize
