Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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