Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
