Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Can I color on your dick again?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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