Nicole vs. Life
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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