I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize