Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
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as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
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How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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