This show inspires me to have sex in space
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
