vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
