um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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