history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
