careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
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Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
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He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it