I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.