matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
19 People Did The Wildest Things When They Were Black-Out Drunk
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
21 Signs That A Dude is Probably Insane
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!