did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
30+ People Share Their Worst ‘Intimate Experience’ And They’re Traumatizing
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.