I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
