So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
