Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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