Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
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