I saw his package. It spoke to me.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
